Monday, April 28, 2014

Forty-Nine Days

This time seven weeks from now we will be back on US soil. Although I am really looking forward to being back, every time I think about leaving I just get so sad. I have been trying to process leaving here before we actually leave in the hope that if I think about it now, I'll be able to just enjoy the next phase without missing this place too much.

We don't have any clear direction for what is next which of course is nothing new for us. We've been applying for caretaking jobs on the West Coast, Jason is considering going back to school to pursue a degree in Forestry and he is also in the application process with the Foreign Service Office(embassy work).

With no clear leading at this point, we've been making summer plans to spend time with family and catch up with friends. We feel really fortunate that for the past seven years we have been able to spend every summer seeing family and friends. Some people wouldn't call being unemployed and homeless, 'fortunate' but for now we do. We know that we will not always have this type of schedule, so we try to enjoy to it's fullest.

I'll admit though, sometimes all the planning starts to consume me -- I like planning. It gives me things to look forward to and it is fun to figure out the best way to re-connect with the most people while enjoying the many things we've missed. During our worship gathering yesterday I had such a clear realization -- We lost a member of our small flock on Saturday morning. When your church group consists of 15 regulars, losing one is devastating. Although we know Estrella is rejoicing in heaven, I'm quite certain she had not planned to die this year. That thought hit home for me. My scheming about what is next is meaningless. I am ultimately not in control of what is next and for me to fill my mind constantly with thoughts of what our summer will look like just seems so worthless. So I am going to try to take a step back and re-focus on what is really important -- for now, that means being present in this moment and enjoying our friends & community here.

For what it's worth, Luke seems ready for whatever is next -- in his Seahawks jersey & Guatemalan slippers :)

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